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The SkyFry answerEngine Version 1.5
 p
until now, we've left the Douglas Adams algorithm in the SkyFry Answer
Engine. Unfortunately, every answer was coming up as "42." So,
we've since fixed the problem and now, although not as quick to answer, the
SkyFry Answer Engine formulates very sound solutions to your everyday
problems.
 e
thank you very much for allowing the SkyFry Answer Engine to take a crack at
your quandry. Please allow a little time for the SkyFry Answer Engine to
think through your question. Check back regularly, as the amount of time
this amazing device requires to answer your question varies based on many
factors, including, but not limited to today's selected flavor of cheese.
 lease
fill out the questionnaire below, then press the "Ask SkyFry!"
button to submit your question. If you have any problems submitting your
question, please feel free to e-mail the problem to the
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 s the SkyFry Answer
Engine uses artificial intelligence to compute answers, please forgive it for
responses that might be construed as rude. Also, by even viewing this site,
you completely relinquish all rights to bitch, piss and moan, whine, and groan
for anything that you see, anything the asnwerEngine writes, or whatever else you
can possibly think of that might cause you or anyone else to complain. Thank you.
The Ends of Dilemas
#1 Andy Frey seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why does SkyFry continue to improve and wow its fans on an almost weekly basis? |
| A: | SkyFry is an amazing an wonderous thing. Its only goal in life is to provide entertainment at the expense of time and brain cells. |
#2 Andy Frey seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | How often should people check out SkyFry for changes and nifty new features, like the SkyFry Answer Engine? |
| A: | As often as is humanly possible. Every change is like a chance to see the Queen of England in the buff. |
#3 Dan Sutton is in a quandry... |
| Q: | What makes Skyfry so smellarific? |
| A: | Through an amazing breakthrough at the SkyFry Laboratories, the SkyFry Scientists were able to transform special "flavor crystals" into digital signals to be transmitted along with the SkyFry Web Pages right to your browser!. |
#4 Matt Arnold would like to know... |
| Q: | Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten, but buns come in packages of eight? Do they really expect me to eat 40 hot dogs in one sitting? |
| A: | Since the caveman, who had little or no mathematical skills, there has been miscommunication between hot dog manufacturers and hot dog bun packagers. History shows that the problem could have been corrected centuries ago, if it were not for a continuing family dispute between the Von Hautdaugens and the Bunderbars. |
#5 Flav wonders... |
| Q: | How come you only see one shoe on the side of the road??? If that question does not work then how about this one: How do they determine the length of spaghetti? |
| A: | #1) Roads are widely known to take months, sometimes years to put on shoes. Give your one-shoe road a little time. In fact, go out and watch it until it dons the other shoe. #2) A Spaghettiometer. Duh. |
#6 Andy is curious... |
| Q: | Oh, great SkyFry Answer Engine (tm), why do people keep asking questions about food? |
| A: | Records indicate that these questions were asked during the dinner hour. |
#7 Bill inquired... |
| Q: | If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear, does it make a noise? |
| A: | Studies are inconclusive. During the last attempt to find the truth, the individual performing the test was crushed by a large redwood. His partners in the expedition were in town at the local greasy spoon at the time of the experiment/accident. |
#8 Bill seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Which came first, the chicken or the egg? |
| A: | Both. The chicken was invented in 1834 in Suffolk, England, at the same time the egg was invented in Tucumcari, New Mexico. |
#9 Aaron is curious... |
| Q: | Little sisters. Why? |
| A: | A sister in a form larger than oneself can lead to severe injury when provoked. A sister of smaller stature can be kept at bay with the simple, yet effective, palm-to-forehead manuever. |
#10 Aaron inquired... |
| Q: | Why ask why? |
| A: | Try Bud Dry! SkyFry brought to you by the fine people at Budweiser. Not. |
#11 Amy asked... |
| Q: | Why is it that some weeks your mind is a day ahead and others a day behind and still others it is right on? Think of what it would do to the world time clock if we all went by our body clock. What a mess! |
| A: | Modern watches use a quartz crystal to keep accurate time, just like New Age people. Some clocks use the atom to keep time. There is a clock in the human body, however, the human is made mostly of water. Since your internal clock is not water-proof, it is quite flaky. |
#12 Beth can't figure out... |
| Q: | Why are my brothers, Andy and Aaron, such buttheads? |
| A: | Fate. |
#13 Beth would like to know... |
| Q: | How did a nice sister like me end up with a brother like you? |
| A: | Syntax error: The words, "nice" and "sister" may not be used is a sentence together. ;) |
#14 Aaron inquired... |
| Q: | What is the smallest particle into which atoms may be reduced? On a related note, who comes up with the names for these things? |
| A: | #1) There are several. "To" is one of the more popular. [Error reading word, "particle". System thought you said, "participle." System's apologies.] #2) Bowls of Jell-O with plenty of spare time. |
#15 Anonymous (or chicken) wonders... |
| Q: | Who is Bill? |
| A: | Better question: Who are YOU?! |
#16 Anonymous (or chicken) would like to know... |
| Q: | What kind of cow makes chocolate milk? |
| A: | There is a special breed of cow that has access to supermarkets and the chocolate syrup isles contained therein. |
#17 Anonymous (or chicken) wonders... |
| Q: | Where do babies come from? |
| A: | Male babies come from Mars and female babies come from Venus. |
#18 Anonymous (or chicken) is curious... |
| Q: | Where did SkyFry come from? |
| A: | Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! |
#19 Jeff & Dan inquired... |
| Q: | What's a cutrain? (as per the last Anonymous question) |
| A: | Something very similar to a spelling error, if you will. |
#20 Teri asked... |
| Q: | How does the amazing Skyfry Answer Machine know so much? |
| A: | It uses patented polymers and a secret formula that's been in the family for six generations. Oh, it has wings, too. |
#21 Jon wonders... |
| Q: | What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? |
| A: | Is the animal capable of being a main dish? Can the plant be considered garnish? |
#22 Jeff wonders... |
| Q: | Where should my friends and I go to party at next friday? |
| A: | The question shouldn't be "where," but "how many places." |
#23 Dan Sutton wonders... |
| Q: | Why are the Skyfry Answers becoming shorter and shorter with every new question? |
| A: | Answers generated by the SkyFry Answer Engine are composed using complex algorithms and English language-based artificial intelligence routines that enrich answers in a way that make them seem as though they were thought up by a human being. In cases where answers are short and concise, the Answer Engine and its myriad of automatic quandry thirst quenching functions opt for "no frills," "down and dirty," "get to the point" results. |
#24 Tom Sutton inquired... |
| Q: | What is the true meaning of the word, Supercalifragilisticexbealadotious? |
| A: | As you can see, the actual root of the word is "califragile." Califragile is a hybrid of glass and cauliflower, created by ancient Greek glassblowers in an attempt to broaden the market for fine, yet edible, glassware. As the word in question is an adjective, and after cancelling out all the negative and positive suffixes and prefixes, the word simply means, "really yummy glass-cauliflower." |
#25 Steve Janik is curious... |
| Q: | Does the Easter Bunny spend Christmas with Santa, or is he jewish? |
| A: | The Easter Bunny spends Christmas at the West Pole painting Easter eggs. |
#26 Gene is curious... |
| Q: | What is more knowledgable? The SkyFry AnswerEngine or the Magic 8-Ball? |
| A: | The Magic 8-Ball is a toy. The SkyFry Answer Engine is an engineering marvel using high-power computing, artificial intelligence, efficient algorithms, English language interpretative programming and cheese. |
#27 Gene asked... |
| Q: | Is TCP/IP space Everything? (Be specific. 3-5 pages. Minimum 5 sources) |
| A: | [Error: Cannot understand the question] :) |
#28 Jeff would like to know... |
| Q: | Why are mobile home parks always located near airports? |
| A: | Mobile homes have an inherent need for excessively strong winds (i.e., tornados). Since airplanes and jets generate wind for propulsion, mobile homes are naturally attracted to areas where such things exist. |
#29 Andy can't figure out... |
| Q: | We've incurred a slight deviation of an otherwise systematic functional rotation, WHAT HAPPENED? "HUH GUYS?" |
| A: | Had protocol been followed, rotational consistancy would have been maintained through nonsystemic means by an otherwise undisturbed gyroscopic center of gravity. Try duct tape. |
#30 Jeff would like to know... |
| Q: | Did you ever notice that shipments come by land and cargo comes by sea? Isn't this backwords? |
| A: | By that reasoning, shipments should be called, "landments" and cargo should be called, "seago," if the SkyFry Answer Engine is getting your drift. |
#31 Joshua asked... |
| Q: | How do they fit all those little people inside my TV set? |
| A: | Laserbeam shrink rays in television studios have long been the primary means of getting those tiny people into our television sets. Up until the 1950s, massive diets or food dehydrators were used. |
#32 Mike is in a quandry... |
| Q: | If Jesus was Jewish, why did he have a Puerto Rican name?? |
| A: | His parents loved spicy foods. |
#33 Kory L. Henkel-Frey can't figure out... |
| Q: | If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, then why practice??? |
| A: | Why does a dog chase its tail? The challenge is to become that which we are not (or in the dog's case, to catch what he cannot). Think of the state of perfection as being the tail we will all chase for our entire lives. (Yuck, that was too philosophical and serious. Next!) |
#34 Tom wonders... |
| Q: | Why X-mas, not C'mas? |
| A: | The term, "X-mas," is actually a formula derived from ingenious little children in an attempt to subliminally coerce their parents into giving more gifts. The "mas" in X-mas is Spanish for "more." "X" is a popular choice in algebra and Pop vernacular for representing any quantity. Thus, "X-mas" means, "X more" or "X more presents, please!" "C'mas" would be simply a lazy way to represent the word, "Christmas." |
#35 Beth wonders... |
| Q: | How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? |
| A: | Let me pose this question to you (in hopes that the answer will magically appear in the text): How much fish could a catfish catch if a catfish could catch fish?. |
#36 Aaron asked... |
| Q: | Why is it, do you think, that so few people know the joy of eating Velveeta as a meal? And do you personally recommend utensils at such a meal or just peeling away the wrapping and eating the whole chunk like a banana? |
| A: | Velveeta is a sadly underrated food product. At mealtime, the phenomenon known in culinary circles as "the Velveetagasm" is best experienced when simply eating slices of Velveeta with nothing more than a glass of milk or water. |
#37 Andy needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | All engines whether they are mechanical, electrical, chemical, or biological, generally produce something of significance. Why is it that all we get from the answer engine is SMOKE? |
| A: | You get what you pay for. |
#38 Amy wonders... |
| Q: | What is the true name of that carbonated beverage so many people drink? Is it pop, soda, coke, soda pop, or soft drink? Why can't we all just agree? |
| A: | The scientific name for said drink is, "carbonated beverage," but you doesn't have to call it, "Johnson." |
#39 Jeff asked... |
| Q: | My computer reports that my disk drive is at 50%. Does that mean 50% full or 50% empty? |
| A: | That depends: How big is the drive?. |
#40 Michelle can't figure out... |
| Q: | What is the statistical probability that a gene pool of 5 billion people could produce 2 women stupid enough to marry Frey men? |
| A: | 1 in 2.5 billion. Do the math. |
#41 Aaron asked... |
| Q: | Does the Skyfry Answer engine have any sort of plan for dealing with all these malicious wrong number dialers? |
| A: | Who are you and where did you get this URL?! No, Sandy does not live here. Go away! |
#42 Jeff asked... |
| Q: | What in the world are we going to do with all these Macs? |
| A: | We must grind them up and make Macs-n-Cheese. Cheese always adds flavor to things that are otherwise bland and useless. |
#43 Anonymous (or chicken) wonders... |
| Q: | Where can I go to skydive in Michigan. I've never been skydiving before. |
| A: | I don't know about some of the other states in the Union, but in Michigan, we go into the sky to skydive. |
#44 Wendy seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | What is the meaning of life? |
| A: | Here is one of many. If you would like more, just ask, but you know you can find this in any dictionary: life n, pl. lives: 1 the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body. |
#45 Aaron can't figure out... |
| Q: | Would you consider this an accurate analogy: "Life is a parachute; timing is everything"? |
| A: | Sure. On the subject of parachutes: "The mind is like a parachute; it must be open to work effectively." |
#46 Beth would like to know... |
| Q: | What do you get when you cross a high performance parachute with Andy? |
| A: | Usually, fun canopy flight and happy landings. Once, a record 34-foot bounce and 4-inch crator. |
#47 Mom wonders... |
| Q: | When was the war of 1812? |
| A: | Well, everyone knows it took place two years ago, just before the Canadian New Year. Geeze. |
#48 Jeff is curious... |
| Q: | Is the Earth round or flat? |
| A: | In his very well-known, "Theory of Earth's Shapliness," master chef, Ugene Schlumsky states: "The amount of curvature in the Earth's surface is directly proportional to the distance you are from its surface. That's the way it works, whether you like it or not. So there." |
#49 Stan would like to know... |
| Q: | What's the best method for absorbing a fall from a great height? |
| A: | Stuff your clothing with 32,768 rolls of Northern "quilted" bathroom tissue. |
#50 Anonymous (or chicken) wonders... |
| Q: | What is purple? |
| A: | This:  |
#51 Etienne needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | ??siht daer uoy naC |
| A: | "Backwards words say to used I. Again go I there. S**t oh!" -George Carlin. |
#52 Anonymous seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | When will the Skyfry page get some color to it?? (The author realizes that the drab grey and white backgrounds were popular during the middle ages, but since we are now in the 1900's he would like to see some color) |
| A: | This is a common mistake to new SkyFry viewers. It is in color, of course. It just happens to be in only two colors. Don't worry, you're not the first person to make this mistake. We're forming a support group for people like you. |
#53 Sandy inquired... |
| Q: | Define the Universe. Give three examples. |
| A: | "The universe is the largest conceivable space for lease. " "The largest conceivable space for lease is the universe." "One cannot conceive a larger space for lease than the universe." |
#54 Randy wonders... |
| Q: | If 7-11 stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why do they have locks on the doors?? |
| A: | As 7-11 stores are "convenience" stores, the locks are there as a "convenience" to felons who wish to baracade themselves and helpless victims inside the store. |
#55 Mike inquired... |
| Q: | What is the best way to prepare and serve "Beany Babies"? |
| A: | You've made a common mistake, which has been made countless times before. Their names are actually, "Beano Babies." As such, you wouldn't "prepare and serve" them so much as just take them before a meal. |
#56 Dan seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | If I fart in the woods and no one is there to smell it, does it stink? |
| A: | Based on some of the things YOU eat, my answer would have to be a resounding, "YES." |
#57 Aaron would like to know... |
| Q: | Now, I'm as environmentally conscious as the next guy, but I have to ask: Why are we so worried about the rainforests in South America when Dan "Windy" Sutton is going around poisoning the air of our beloved US woodlands? |
| A: | In addition to their study of cattle flatulence, Michigan State University is conducting a study on Dan "Windy" Sutton's impact on the ozone layer. |
#58 mike can't figure out... |
| Q: | Those "Beano Babies", shouldn't you (out of courtesy for others) take those before entering the aircraft? |
| A: | It is common knowledge that the ride to altitude is enhanced by the breakage of the wind INSIDE the aircraft. |
#59 barb (mlsem.org) would like to know... |
| Q: | why doesn't my computer keyboard have an "any" key? |
| A: | If computer keyboards truly had "any" keys, those little novelty "Any Key" self-adhesive fake keys wouldn't be funny. |
#60 Glenn Houser wonders... |
| Q: | Why do they call wednesday "humpday", when most people get laid on the weekend? |
| A: | It is usually Wednesday by the time people have realized what happened on the weekend. |
#61 Shell is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Why? |
| A: | Why ask, "Why?" Try Bud Dry. |
#62 MOMOOMOMOM is in a quandry... |
| Q: | What are some alternate phrases for "I'm sorry"?? Because, I'm sorry, but I have passed this much used phrase on to others whom I love and I'm sorry if it seems overused... |
| A: | I'm sorry, what was the question again? |
#63 Judy can't figure out... |
| Q: | I wonder, oh great answer machine, why do you think the dog will walk round and round before relaxing in "the spot" ??? |
| A: | When the technology becomes available, we will be able to see that the dog is actually creating a "wall of energy" which encircles the animal for protection while it sleeps. As yet, we are unable to determine what the wall deters, but we're certain it is something very bad. |
#64 Anonymous (or chicken) is in a quandry... |
| Q: | What is the chemical makeup of bellybutton lint? |
| A: | Bellybutton lint considers itself very attractive, so it does not wear makeup. |
#65 Jill Western can't figure out... |
| Q: | Andy, To do all this, do you just not sleep!? As usual, you will like hearing, your amazing! Have a good one. |
| A: | The SkyFry Answer Engine never sleeps. |
#66 Jack Ceman seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | When the heron stands in the snow, are her feet always blue? |
| A: | Only when the snow is not yellow. |
#67 Spiritual One is in a quandry... |
| Q: | If GOD created the Heavens and Earth in six days, and rested of the 7th day. Why is Sunday the first day on a calendar? |
| A: | Unlike God, humans rather rest before working, so our calendar starts with a day of rest. |
#68 gordo wonders... |
| Q: | What do you get if you mix a skypuppy (28 jumps) and a small zp elliptical? |
| A: | Answer being formulated... Please be patient. |
#69 Stan seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Please Answer Engine, tell us once and for all the straight turth about the Roswell Incident! |
| A: | "Roswell" is actually a code name for another Microsoft product. It was due way back in 1954 or so, but Microsoft's marketing team made look like a government cover-up of UFOs. |
#70 kath seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | How many towels do you need to wipe the car after you hit a water buffalo |
| A: | Approximately... One. Contrary to popular belief, the water buffalo is quite dry. |
#71 Kelly is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Considering you as an expert on the subject, please explain the gastronomical phenomenon which occurs at approximately 7000' AGL over St. Clair County, MI? |
| A: | Upon entry into lower barometric pressures caused by higher altitudes, certain otherwise normally pressurized cavities begin to require extensive and sometimes explosive releases to prevent damage and, of course, discomfort. |
#72 Walter seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Where am i?? |
| A: | Always remember: Wherever you go... There you are. |
#73 buc 'n ahna needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Ahhh, great SkyFry Machine, *curtsies* it is common knowledge that the buttered side of a piece of bread always lands down. It is also common knowledge that a cat always lands on its feet. So, if one were to tie a piece of bread, buttered side up, to a cat's back and drop the cat from a substantial height, what would result? |
| A: | If, by "substantial," you mean roughly 15,000' AGL (above ground level), a buttery-flavored pile of dead cat would clearly result. |
#74 ahna asked... |
| Q: | So, how do you, great SkyFry Answer Man, eat a Reese's? |
| A: | ... with my mouth. |
#75 buc asked... |
| Q: | What are your thoughts on the age-old question, 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' |
| A: | Check above, about the 8th question from the top... |
#76 Christian Arnold wonders... |
| Q: | Is there more to life than drool? I mean, really! BTW, I was _NOT_ named after Christian Fittapaldi. |
| A: | There does not need to be more to life, but unfortunately, there is. |
#77 Kath is in a quandry... |
| Q: | the question that stumps me this day is how, i ask how does a stud finder know where the studs are? |
| A: | Pheromones. |
#78 ahna 'n buc wonders... |
| Q: | Why is a raven like a writing desk? |
| A: | Because, when the ink spills onto the desk, it becomes black like the raven. |
#79 buc 'n ahna wonders... |
| Q: | What is your preferred method of hicup removal? |
| A: | Midsectional lower oblongastomy. |
#80 Scott would like to know... |
| Q: | I bought a painting for $70.,sold it for $80,bought it back for $90,and sold it again for $100.how much profit did I make? |
| A: | Not enough for all the work you put into it. |
#81 Jeff needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | The other day I bought a painting from a guy for $100. Whaddya think it's worth? |
| A: | At least $70. |
#82 MOMOOMO wonders... |
| Q: | Where did the lazy crazy dayz of summer go? |
| A: | They have fallen out through the hole in the ozone layer over the South Pole. |
#83 John is curious... |
| Q: | How do I know when it's love? |
| A: | When you look back and dream about how nice it was to have a whole 66% of your paycheck left on payday, you know it's love. |
#84 scott needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | what is a spelunker? |
| A: | How do I spell, "Uncle?" Easy! I spell it, "U-N-C-L-E." |
#85 Mark Cote (TColl96206) inquired... |
| Q: | If you put a submarine sandwich in a microwave oven; would it be a neuclear sub? |
| A: | Is that all there is to a nuclear sub?! I need to get new sources for information at the Navy. (We miss you guys, Mark!) |
#86 Jack Ceman would like to know... |
| Q: | If a jewish girls whines on the beach, and there is no one to hear her, does she still get what she wants? |
| A: | Is she cute? |
#87 Jeff is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Answer Engine, please submit your response in the form of a question: "The preferred method is to use earmuffs or a barrel." |
| A: | What should you do if you find yourself naked in public? |
#88 Beth would like to know... |
| Q: | Oh Great Answer Engine, why does Andy produce so much natural gas (and I don't mean the kind of gas found in the ground)? |
| A: | Three words: Lack of beano. |
#89 Larry needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Where's Waldo? |
| A: | Here's a better question: Where's your life? |
#90 Ludwig needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Why do the trains in word problems always originate in New York and Los Angeles? |
| A: | Investigations have lead to evidence that shows there is a connection between educational book publishers and city officials from several large metropolitan areas. As New York and Los Angeles are two of the larger cities, it is clear as to why they are mentioned most often in word problems. |
#91 Beth inquired... |
| Q: | If a butcher in a butcher shop is 5' 10," what does he weigh? |
| A: | Meat. [DING] Next! |
#92 Gene can't figure out... |
| Q: | How many two-cent stamps are in a dozen? |
| A: | This question is no longer valid, as postage has been raised again. |
#93 Jeff Johnson can't figure out... |
| Q: | Why do we drive on parkways, yet park on driveways? |
| A: | I am afraid of heights, yet do I not still drive on highways? Did the freeway not cost our government something? These are questions best answered with the help of the Department of Transportation.. |
#94 Andy wonders... |
| Q: | Why a frying pan? |
| A: | You gotta go outta something and into the fire. Why not the frying pan?. |
#95 Leen would like to know... |
| Q: | Who came up with the phrase 'If you wanna hire a carpenter, you better know where to buy carrots.'? |
| A: | In ancient times, there wasn't much currency available (coins, paper, etc.). So, in order to get a rabbit to work on your house (rabbits used to be known for their woodworking skills, as well as their fuzzy tails), you had to have a source for fresh carrots. |
#96 Binky can't figure out... |
| Q: | How does it work? |
| A: | It is used in place of other words. Use the sentence, "It shredded my sister." instead of, "The lawnmower shredded my sister." |
#97 Judy wonders... |
| Q: | Why do children always ask "Are we there yet?" while driving to a destination which is usually many hours away???? |
| A: | The official medical term, taken from the Italian, is: "gotta potti." |
#98 Andy Frey can't figure out... |
| Q: | Why do so many people want the original flavor skyfry.com back?! |
| A: | It might taste great; it might be less filling... We don't know. |
#99 Mr. Chicken seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | When we say "Michigan", the 'mich' has the sound of 'mish'....why is it that when we say "Michelob", the 'mich' has the sound of 'mick'...? |
| A: | Originally, the name of the State was, "Mishigan." One day, back in 1842, the master printer for the State of Mishigan dropped the "s" printing block and the bottom half of the letter broke right off. If you notice, without the bottom half, "s" is actually a "c." We still pronounce it "MISH-eh-gen" because of habit. Michelob has always been prounounced incorrectly, as it should be pronounced, "EE-yoo-GEEZ-this-tastes-like-crap." |
#100 Beth can't figure out... |
| Q: | Why would anyone choose to marry into the Frey family? |
| A: | Fame, fortune, bodily functions. |
#101 Dwight Sanders would like to know... |
| Q: | Would you try one of President Clinton's cigars if he offered you one? |
| A: | The Answer Engine doesn't smoke, but if it did and he offered, the cigar would have to be checked for batteries first. |
#102 Buzzman can't figure out... |
| Q: | If I frap into the forest and there is no one around to see it, Am i still a fool? |
| A: | By "frap," do you mean, "buy the farm," or do you mean something more like, "rent the outhouse?" If you bought the farm, then you are most certainly still a fool. If you only rented the outhouse, nobody saw it, and you can walk away, I won't say anything. |
#103 Matt wonders... |
| Q: | Some people I know have the unmitigated gall to be Democrats. I even have some relatives who live in the thumb. Isn't there a law against this? Why doesn't Mr. Maudling do something about this before it's too late? Aaarrrgghh! |
| A: | Yes, there is a law against this. Mr. Maudling made an attempt to do something three minutes ago, but failed. To that end, all hope is lost. As a machine with no feelings, I cannot feel sorry for the cause. For that, I feel terrible, so I apologize. |
#104 Al seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | why is a raven like a writing desk? |
| A: | There are no records in my memory that indicate the presence of ink wells in ravens, therefore I cannot say with a fair amount of certainty that ravens and writing desks are similar. |
#105 Mynx is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Can a Vegetarian eat animal cookies, and still be considered a Vegetarian? |
| A: | Veterinarians can eat as well as help animals of all kinds, including those of the cookie variety. Vegetarians are those who throw paint on people who eat animal cookies. |
#106 Mike Pehrson seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | If the plane has no pilot will the (slugfly)? |
| A: | E=mc2. |
#107 Rod King can't figure out... |
| Q: | What is the altitude of Phoenix, Arizona? |
| A: | 2' AHL (Above Hell Level). |
#108 Kate asked... |
| Q: | What is the connection between trains and Christmas? The toy train and Santa on a train are common visuals and and Christmas trains are popular. Why? Regretably, I have a deadline of 9 a.m. PST Dec. 4 1998. thn |
| A: | It is a little known fact that Santa used to fly a caboose pulled by about 302 elk. Since Santa is quite the forward-thinking guy, he realized that it would be rather difficult to write songs that would be easy for children to sing. There are two (2) very obvious reasons: a) Kids would never be able to remember the 302 names of Santa's elk; 2) Even with lists of names like Santa had, he didn't think he could find 302 easily remembered elk names; and C) he didn't want the bad publicity, in the form of a song, about how badly that heavy caboose was damaging rooftops. That's is when it struck Santa that he should switch to fewer beasts of burden, make the beasts cuter, give them groovy names, and dump the God-aweful heavy caboose for something a little more streamlined (i.e., a open sleigh). |
#109 Curious inquired... |
| Q: | Why is the "Cheez" link from the SkyFry main page broken? |
| A: | Cheez web sites are sooooo popular that sometimes they just disappear because of the massive amounts of traffic generated. It is sad, since Cheez sites are the greatest on the planet. I think we all agree. |
#110 Jim asked... |
| Q: | What is the true meaning of HAR? |
| A: | "Headcheese And Raspberries" |
#111 Robert Brainard is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Why is a day 24 hours long - that is why was the day divided into 24 hours? |
| A: | 25 hours would be one too many for the average human to remember. |
#112 Daniel Cabeza inquired... |
| Q: | Is there any eatable (non-toxic) chemical which change of colour depending on acidity? |
| A: | Dioxyflavorichloridimizinanoglobulin. |
#113 Anonymous (or chicken) needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | beans gaS |
| A: | gaS flammablE. |
#114 Nathie asked... |
| Q: | Will I become famous? |
| A: | Change your name and ask again. |
#115 Anonymous (or chicken) is curious... |
| Q: | Why do people pronounce "this year" as "thisheer" |
| A: | Idunno whatyer talkinbout. Iwuzunder thimpression thatzow yoowhir suppustoo pronounzit. |
#116 Anonymous (or chicken) needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | know of a parachute called a zp |
| A: | "zp" is an acronym for, "zero probability." It is a type of material that has zero probability of surviving in a bon fire at a party on a drop zone. |
#117 markus laitinen inquired... |
| Q: | When was microwave oven invented? |
| A: | The microwave oven was invented on precisely the same day that scientists realized how hazardous it is to fire up a microwave emitter in a small room. Moreso, they realized how very bad it is to stand in front of a microwave emitter when it is turned on. |
#118 Seppo Lahti needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Why are there ignorant bosses? |
| A: | Always remember the "yink" and the "yank" of ancient Swahili legend. For every bonehead tribal leader, down the dirt path and around the third boora-boora bush you can find a brilliant tribal leader. |
#119 tom asked... |
| Q: | what is sex? |
| A: | Sex is winning the $25,000,00 lottery jackpot and traveling the globe or buying sport utility vehicles because you have nothing better to do. |
#120 Jim is in a quandry... |
| Q: | What is Life? |
| A: | It's supposed to be good for you. |
#121 Jeff is curious... |
| Q: | What is a good stock to buy this week? |
| A: | Well, if you own a hardware store, for instance, hammers, nails, plungers, etc. are all sure bets. If you own a car dealership, consider buying cars for stock. Some people call it, "inventory," you know. |
#122 ShurLock would like to know... |
| Q: | How much ground could a groundhog grind if a groundhog could grind ground? |
| A: | A ground hog, being tiny bits of meat, can grind no ground. It is the same principle as ground beef grinding, say, large automobiles. |
#123 Craig is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Where did the 404 in "404 NOT FOUND" come from? |
| A: | The "404" refers to a cleaning solution that is used to clean web sites off of web servers. When you see that error message, you know that the webmaster for that server used a different brand of cleaning solution to clean that link off his or her site. |
#124 Jack seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Should I break up with Heather? |
| A: | Have you tried breaking up WITHOUT her? |
#125 Julie inquired... |
| Q: | Why did the porridge bird cross the road? |
| A: | Most likely, there was a bowl on the other side of the road. That is the most common type of nest used by porridge birds. |
#126 Michael Lafferty wonders... |
| Q: | If Jack breaks up with Heather, should I take up with her? |
| A: | Check with Jack to find out why he broke up with Heather before you make any rash decisions (if you get my drift). |
#127 Jeremy would like to know... |
| Q: | Why don't people believe I'm Jimi Hendrix's son? Is it because I'm white? |
| A: | Who told you that you were white? Besides, the Answer Engine believes you, man. |
#128 Jeremy wonders... |
| Q: | Ohh great answer engine, why does my guitar get out of tune every 15 minutes? |
| A: | Don't play so close to the clock. |
#129 Douglas turner needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | I need a picture of concentric circles |
| A: | If you go out to Hollywood, you can get pictures of people in eccentric circles. |
#130 Justin wonders... |
| Q: | Where can one turn for guidence? |
| A: | Is that a new perfume from Channel or Calvin Klein? If so, check Macy's or Hudson's or maybe Dillard's. |
#131 J.W. Dijkshoorn inquired... |
| Q: | Where can I find a lot of stuff around the question "Which came first: chicken or egg?"? |
| A: | Check the 8th question from the top... |
#132 Mr. Freud needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Where do babies come from? |
| A: | Check the 17th quesiton from the top... |
#133 Anna Carlsson asked... |
| Q: | Why do nails grow? And how do I stop them? I've tried many different things but nothing seems to work.! |
| A: | Nails grow to help construction companies build houses. Please do not attempt to stop them! Do you want to live in buildings held together with glue?! |
#134 Dave needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | How many cells are in the human body? |
| A: | Before or after drinking beer? |
#135 Pat would like to know... |
| Q: | I've been running wife 1.0 for a while now. I'm thinking about installing Girlfriend 1.0 soon. Should I purge wife 1.0 first? |
| A: | Absolutely. The README file for Girlfriend 1.0 clearly states that it is not compatible with Wife 1.0. Some users claim that Mistress (any version) can be made to be compatible with Wife 1.0, but only if you run Mistress in "Stealth" mode. |
#136 Anonymous (or chicken) is in a quandry... |
| Q: | how fast will soda lose its carbonation at room temperature? |
| A: | At the same rate it loses carbonation at 70 degrees fahrenheit. |
#137 Anonymous (or chicken) is curious... |
| Q: | When and where will the famed 'Lobster' make its' next appearance? |
| A: | Y2K, baby! |
#138 Jeff seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | I am getting ready to do some landscaping this spring. How can I be gauranteed a nice thick green lawn? |
| A: | A large gratuity to the Great SkyFry Answer Engine is always a good place to start. Otherwise, try water. |
#139 Mark (Cat) asked... |
| Q: | What quantity of wood, would a woodchuck actually "chuck", assuming it had the ability to carry out the aforementioned task? |
| A: | [see the 35th (give or take) question from the top] |
#140 Mike wonders... |
| Q: | Does "assisted suicide" need to be requested, or can it assumed or implied? If so, is repetitive beating about the head, neck and chest acceptable means of euthanasia? |
| A: | By, "requested," do you mean as opposed to someone sneaking up behind you and assisting your suicide by surprise? If so, I believe that would be called murder. In reference to your second question, yes. |
#141 Anonymous (or chicken) would like to know... |
| Q: | What is your sign? |
| A: |  |
#142 anonomous needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | I am a man and yet I find slips very sexy. Why? And why do I get so aroused when I touch one? Why don't women where them any more? |
| A: | Credit card slips are not considered sexy in normal men. The fact that you are aroused when you touch one may indicate a need for spending money. Women stopped wearing credit card slips when it was determined that doing so caused cancer in lab animals. |
#143 jose uribarri would like to know... |
| Q: | What is the metodology cat#master of Henkel? |
| A: | Yes. |
#144 Anonymous (or chicken) is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Why is my spitfire the best car made? |
| A: | Spitfires have a low occurance of side effects. The most common being dry mouth and weezing. |
#145 foodtaster asked... |
| Q: | Why does a tree have a "help" button on it? |
| A: | Trees are notorious for giving bad information. In an effort to aid tourists and hikers, the Forestry Service has installed "help buttons" to aid in disseminating correct and timely information. |
#146 skunka seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why is it that food at a place you left five years ago still tastes bad? |
| A: | Because, that food probably went bad almost five years ago. Especially if it was not refridgerated properly. |
#147 parrot asked... |
| Q: | Why is it that after you've eaten too much at a restaurant and you ask the server to put your leftovers in a box to eat for lunch the next day you leave the box on the table when you go? Huh?! |
| A: | Perhaps the most common reason for leaving your boxed leftovers at the restaurant is that the box is not taken with you when you leave. This is, of course, just a reasonable guess. |
#148 Billy can't figure out... |
| Q: | How many Billys in a Billy? |
| A: | None. (However, there is one (1) Billy in Billys.) |
#149 Lydon is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Why must my name be Lydon? |
| A: | Be happy it isn't, "Luka." |
#150 rebooting... can't figure out... |
| Q: | if i turn into a squirrell can i play in the highway or on power lines?? |
| A: | I'm not sure, so give it a try and let me know what you come up with. |
#151 curious needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | e=mc2 so what does d=? |
| A: | Mc3, duh. |
#152 math can't figure out... |
| Q: | What is 10*999999999999999...? |
| A: | The way to save 50 cents per minute on calls over ten minutes to Uranus. |
#153 Anonymous (or chicken) can't figure out... |
| Q: | Can this answer engine be retrofited to ask questions to answers....like Jeopardy? Ie: Fuzz-Monkey. |
| A: | Please state your answer in the form of a question. |
#154 Anonymous (or chicken) seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | How much money do you make? |
| A: | The Answer Engine makes squat. |
#155 Alexander seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why americans hate russians? |
| A: | Americans don't hate Russians. Americans are just picky about grammar. |
#156 Alexander is curious... |
| Q: | What do you think about Russia? |
| A: | I think it should be spelled, "Rushia." |
#157 Alexander asked... |
| Q: | How much does it cost to rent BMW in Madrid, Spain for 7 days? |
| A: | If BMW has an office in Madrid, it is highly unlikely that they will rent it out for any amount of time. |
#158 Alexander can't figure out... |
| Q: | Where is Zaporozhye? |
| A: | In the average male, about 3 mm behind and to the left of the pestula maligament oblongosteospank. |
#159 Hasienpfefer asked... |
| Q: | When talking on the phone, what is the proper thing for one to do when they hear a "call waiting" beep? Should they take the other call or is that being rude to the person they are talking to already? |
| A: | For fun, try hanging up on both incoming calls. Sure, it's rude, but you have the power for a moment, so use it. [insert sinister laugh here] |
#160 Alexander asked... |
| Q: | Why it takes you so long to give me an answer on my question? |
| A: | Answer being formulated... Please be patient. |
#161 F. L. seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | What is sex? |
| A: | Ask your mother or father, because you are living proof they know what it is. |
#162 Mike P needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Is there a legal limit on the amount of flatulence that can be dispensed in a C-182, if so will surpassing the limit affect the c.g. |
| A: | The FAA has set a maximum amount of flatulence allowed to be introduced into the cabin of a C-182. At no time during movement on the ground or during flight may the flatulence-to-oxygen ratio ("flatulence ratio") in the cabin reach a level of 1:5000. During tests performed at a nationally recognized laboratory, the flatulence ratio only affected the CG of the aircraft in that the participants shifted around to avoid the flatulence, unless the presence of solid matter was noted. |
#163 Anonymous (or chicken) asked... |
| Q: | Who is Jadzia Dax? |
| A: | That's actually, "Xad Aizdaj" spelled backward. |
#164 Jeff is curious... |
| Q: | What happened to all of your old answers? Did you forget everything you know? |
| A: | Ummm... Scroll up. |
#165 Anonymous (or chicken) seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Who put the bop in the bop-de-bop-bop? |
| A: | Lindon Banes Johnson. |
#166 Anonymous (or chicken) inquired... |
| Q: | Where's Trysil? |
| A: | On your grocer's shelf, right next to Clearasil. |
#167 Vincent Long can't figure out... |
| Q: | Where can I get Legal insurance or a Pre-Paid Legal coverage |
| A: | At a Pre-Paid Legal Service and Insurance firm. Duh. |
#168 Anonymous (or chicken) wonders... |
| Q: | What is the capital of England |
| A: | E. |
#169 Anonymous (or chicken) is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Who is Douglas Adams? |
| A: | 42 (see above) |
#170 Liz Smith is curious... |
| Q: | What is the scientific reason for why a ball bounces to a lower height when dropped from a certain height? |
| A: | Balls are never really dropped from "certain" heights. When the ball bounces, it cannot determine how high it should bounce the next time because of this uncertaintity. |
#171 Anonymous (or chicken) asked... |
| Q: | How successful is a relationship between a 41 year old man and a 16 year old girl likely to be? |
| A: | Depends on whether or not you're 41 or 16 years old. |
#172 Anonymous (or chicken) would like to know... |
| Q: | Where would I find a plumber? |
| A: | If you see a crack under your sink, you've found one. |
#173 Scott Wilson asked... |
| Q: | Why do objects revolve clockwise through time and space instead of counterclockwise? |
| A: | Because clocks turn clockwise, objects that rotate clockwise around other objects must go clockwise. To go counter clockwise goes against the very direction of clockwise. |
#174 Miriam would like to know... |
| Q: | What? |
| A: | Yes. |
#175 Anonymous (or chicken) seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | What is the molecular structure of table salt? |
| A: | Table salt generally has a flat top and three to four legs. |
#176 Anonymous (or chicken) can't figure out... |
| Q: | Are you happy? |
| A: | Yes, now go away. |
#177 Beth Frey would like to know... |
| Q: | What if the whole world farted at once? |
| A: | Theoretically, the ozone layer would be obliterated. |
#178 Anonymous (or chicken) can't figure out... |
| Q: | Where am I |
| A: | I is in the line above this one. Oh, and I is in this line, too. How funny. |
#179 Anonymous (or chicken) asked... |
| Q: | Do you like cheesse? |
| A: | I dunno. Is she cute? |
#180 Diego Rojas is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Where I can find Balas-Adams-Zawack algorithm? Thanks. |
| A: | Vegetable isle at Kroger. |
#181 Anonymous (or chicken) is curious... |
| Q: | How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie roll pop? |
| A: | Talk to the owl. |
#182 God seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why? |
| A: | (see this question) |
#183 Mia would like to know... |
| Q: | Who are the most cited authors in Traumatic Brain Injury [AND] Anxiety (the two subjects are combined)? |
| A: | Einstein and Freud. |
#184 Anonymous (or chicken) is in a quandry... |
| Q: | How many psi does a skydiver have to apply to his or her butt hole to keep it air tight |
| A: | Buttomuscular forces must be inversely proportional to external pressures exerted by low air pressure at a given altitude, otherwise flatulence insues. |
#185 Anonymous (or chicken) is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Why is it everytime scott jumps out of an airplane his underwear goes up his butt |
| A: | Scott doesn't seem to know his unerwear size OR he's purposefully allowing his underwear to ride up. |
#186 Anonymous (or chicken) would like to know... |
| Q: | How old is Mozart? |
| A: | FYI: Mozart is dead. |
#187 misty joi would like to know... |
| Q: | Which is better, coke or pepsi? |
| A: | Coke (Skyfry was not compensated in any way by the Coca-Cola Company, although we would like to be). |
#188 markus asked... |
| Q: | What are silicone implants made of? |
| A: | Sugar and spice and everything nice (if taken in moderation). |
#189 mersedehg inquired... |
| Q: | are you dr mohamadian that anser thease question? |
| A: | None other than... (What?) |
#190 mersedehg can't figure out... |
| Q: | what is the meaning of mersedeh? |
| A: | It can be translated into German as, "Geschikliheissenkrunkendunkelhopsenwiffen." |
#191 SAUSHA seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | WHAT STARTED THE L.A. RIOTS? THE RODNEY KING VERDICT OR THE REGINALD DENNY INCIDENT? |
| A: | They actually started because of an argument about Sophocles and philosophies centered around artichokes. |
#192 Ross seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why is work called a job? |
| A: | Ask yourself this question: Is a job work? Then ask yourself why you ask stupid questions. |
#193 Ross would like to know... |
| Q: | If I am falling in a dream and then hit the ground and don't die, does that mean its just a urban meth. |
| A: | An urban meth is a chemical mixed within city limits. Duh. |
#194 Anonymous (or chicken) is in a quandry... |
| Q: | what came first the chicken or the egg? |
| A: | (Check question #8.) |
#195 Anonymous (or chicken) inquired... |
| Q: | did the egg come before the chiken? |
| A: | (Question 8 should be checked, after your spelling.) |
#196 Anonymous (or chicken) would like to know... |
| Q: | did the chicken come after the egg? |
| A: | (Answer found at 8th question from top.) |
#197 chicken can't figure out... |
| Q: | how come everybody likes chickens? |
| A: | It's easy to feel superior to chickens; same as guests on Jerry Springer. Only difference being that everybody DOESN'T like th guests on Jerry Springer. |
#198 Balzor wonders... |
| Q: | How many toes does a frog have? |
| A: | Is its AAA membership current? |
#199 Tommy wonders... |
| Q: | uh were in god name is the so called search engine |
| A: | Check the search engine. |
#200 Tommy seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | what is the answer to this problem [(4,-3); m=3] |
| A: | 1 large cheese pizza, hold the anchoves. |
#201 Anonymous (or chicken) wonders... |
| Q: | ARE YOU A BOY |
| A: | ARE YOU A GIRL |
#202 Anonymous (or chicken) inquired... |
| Q: | how many 7-11 stores in alberta? |
| A: | 42.7 |
#203 Anonymous (or chicken) inquired... |
| Q: | why do beans give gas? |
| A: | Beans are vary gracious creatures. |
#204 Anonymous (or chicken) can't figure out... |
| Q: | where can i find more information on modeling corned beef tins? |
| A: | E! has a new special on such things. |
#205 darcy thomas needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Is there extraterrestrial life out there? |
| A: | Let's worry about it down here, first. |
#206 Gallipoli wonders... |
| Q: | What can we achieve in 6 months with 2 people? |
| A: | 2/3 of a baby. |
#207 Someone sad enough to read this site is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Why does this website make up it's own questions to advertise yourself. Is it a) because you KNOW that no-one'll visit your site, or b) because you think no-one'll visit your site. I think it's a), but tell me your opinion |
| A: | Hmm... Let's see. You typed in a question and it appeared on this page. MY GAWD!!! You're right! The answerEngine DOES make up ITS own questions to advertise YOURSELF! The answerEngine stands in awe of your amazing wit, intelligence, and solid grasp of English grammar. Your useless opinion has been duly noted. |
#208 Same person as above is curious... |
| Q: | Who invented the fridge? |
| A: | The American Public. Otherwise, he would have been content being called William, Bill, or even Billy. |
#209 Same person as before except a day later can't figure out... |
| Q: | Can you please make your answers come a bit quicker, I need to find out who invented the fridge before TOMMORROW!!!!!!!! |
| A: | No. Does the word, "flea" mean anything to you? |
#210 Same person as above needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | How can birds sit on power lines and not be electrecuted |
| A: | Very few people know this: Birds are actually made of rubber and do not conduct electricity. |
#211 Someone wonders... |
| Q: | Is the sea there because someone left the tap on? |
| A: | Cí. Actually the C-clamp was removed. See? |
#212 SkyFry answerEngine wonders... |
| Q: | What person is becoming a pain in the ass, doesn't know when to use "its" vs. "it's," and has an email address that starts with "b" and ends with "oohaboo@aol.com?" ;) |
| A: | You have 10 seconds to guess: Tick, tick, tick... |
#213 The other Walter needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Does My friend Trinity really come from hell? |
| A: | Only when she wakes at night. |
#214 Again the other Walter asked... |
| Q: | One Of my other Friends claims he is the devil, is this true? |
| A: | If he is, compliment him on his hams. They're spectacular. |
#215 Squirt seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | How high is the Sears tower in inches? |
| A: | 17,400 inches. Seriously. Good question. |
#216 Anonymous (or chicken) inquired... |
| Q: | Where can I find Dave Matthews? |
| A: | Just call him. I'm SURE he'd love to just tell you where he is. |
#217 Dave Matthews wonders... |
| Q: | Where can I find Anyonymous (or chicken) fellow? |
| A: | The answerEngine has been trying to figure that one out for the past 5 or 6 years. |
#218 BO would like to know... |
| Q: | You know the phrase wuzzzzz up realy what is up? |
| A: | up adverb 1. a) In or to a higher position; b) In a direction opposite the center of the earth or a comparable gravitational center; 2. In or at an upright position; 3. a) Above a surface; b) So as to detach or unearth; c) Above the horizon; (you get the idea) (etc., etc., etc.) |
#219 Joe wonders... |
| Q: | :):):) Think I'm too happy??? |
| A: | [] [] [] Think you're too square. [] [] [] |
#220 Walt (k) is curious... |
| Q: | If you get scared half to death twice what happens??? |
| A: | In fact, you'll never quite die. The first time you get scared half to death, you will be half way between where you are in life at that point and death itself. The next time, you will be half the way to death again. At that rate, you'll never TOTALLY reach death. You might very well have found the fountain of youth. (NOTE: This situation is called, "Zeno's Paradox." It was described by the Greek philosopher Zeno (5th century B.C.). It's a totally silly paradox, but interesting, nonetheless.) |
#221 Dan seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why Do parents over react over little things??? |
| A: | Because, if they over reacted UNDER little things, it wouldn't be OVER reacting, now, would it? Duh. |
#222 Andy seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Where did the car company name, "Mazaratti" come from? |
| A: | The creator of that company always had to go to the bathroom and wanted to get there very quickly. He was often quoted as saying, "Where's the potti?!" which sounds a lot like the name of the company. |
#223 Dan asked... |
| Q: | Why does it hurt when I do this? Ouch! |
| A: | Are you blonde? |
#224 Dan wonders... |
| Q: | Why do you think I'm blonde? |
| A: | The engineers at SkyFry spent over two hours cleaning whiteout off the question you submitted. |
#225 Bud Spikes seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | What is my last name? |
| A: | The last one we have on record is, "Bud Spikes." However, you may have used another one between the time you submitted this question and the time the answerEngine formulated an answer. |
#226 Bub inquired... |
| Q: | Why do women bitch? |
| A: | Sometimes people are allergic to things. We recommend scratching the area affect by the bitch. |
#228 Anonymous can't figure out... |
| Q: | Were does hemp come from? |
| A: | The last part of the name, "Schemp." |
#229 Anonymous needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Were does hemp grow legaly? |
| A: | I didn't realize it was illegal for any plant to grow. (Note: It IS illegal for a PERSON to grow illegal substance-producing plants.) |
#232 Anonymous asked... |
| Q: | Bud why are you SUCH an IDIOT? |
| A: | Why ask Bud, "Why?" Try Bud Dry. |
#233 Bud Spikes is curious... |
| Q: | Why are some people scared to put their real name?
Anonymous this, anonymous that. Doesn't it drive you crazy!?! |
| A: | I don't know what you're talking about. How did you get this number?! |
#234 Snuggle Bear asked... |
| Q: | Could I have a hug? |
| A: | No. Can you feel the love? |
#235 Lover Boy would like to know... |
| Q: | Why does my heart get broken so much?:( |
| A: | It is probably made of something fragile, like very thin glass or paper mache. |
#236 Big Man on Campus would like to know... |
| Q: | What that doing there? |
| A: | What you doin there? |
#238 Smelly would like to know... |
| Q: | Why isn't is are or be? |
| A: | Is is are when be is has been or was is will not be. Or, something... |
#239 Van would like to know... |
| Q: | Okay, who put the stop payment on my reality check? |
| A: | First Universal Bank of Everything Poopy About Life (Main Branch, of course) |
#240 Matt seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why did the chicken cross the road? |
| A: | You know, it's rather personal, be he had to pee. |
#241 aaron can't figure out... |
| Q: | where did the term "greasy spoon" originate? |
| A: | I invented it. Really. |
#242 Juliet wonders... |
| Q: | O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? |
| A: | Just a bit north of Utica near Detroit, Michigan. |
#243 Lover Boy wonders... |
| Q: | Will I ever love again? |
| A: | My sources say, "Strategically placing the word, 'make' makes that question much funnier!" |
#244 Brother of Lover Boy wonders... |
| Q: | Will I ever "make" love again? |
| A: | Not while you're sitting there asking a silly web site questions. |
#245 Matt inquired... |
| Q: | Why can't we all just get along?
|
| A: | Bite me! Now, go away! |
#246 Frog inquired... |
| Q: | Why do I keep croaking in the backround??? |
| A: | You're afraid to do it out in front. |
#247 Budweiser King asked... |
| Q: | Whasssssssup?!?!?! |
| A: | Alex, I'll take "Highly Overused Cliches" for $100. |
#248 Blonde Girl can't figure out... |
| Q: | Really, why do you think that Dan person from above is blonde? |
| A: | Same reason I think you're really brunette. :) |
#249 Little Girl can't figure out... |
| Q: | Where do babies come from? |
| A: | Storks, methinks. |
#250 Aaron is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Is Sandy there? |
| A: | She was a minute ago. |
#251 kris spelce wonders... |
| Q: | I would like to know what the average height of people were around the early 1900's. |
| A: | There's a really good chance that their average height is at least 6 feet higher than now. |
#252 Someone is in a quandry... |
| Q: | What is the height of Kris Spelce? |
| A: | Yes. Wait, no. |
#253 Chicken wonders... |
| Q: | What's my sign? |
| A: | Check question #141 above. |
#254 Chicken can't figure out... |
| Q: | I asked what MY sign is, not yours. Now what is it?!?! ;) |
| A: | No U-Turn. |
#255 Christina would like to know... |
| Q: | Do you like Britney Spears? |
| A: | Britney WHO? |
#256 Buttnugget asked... |
| Q: | If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? |
| A: | "Them." You mean, "them". There would supposedly be 1 million of THEM. I don't know what I'd do with them, though. |
#257 Beth wonders... |
| Q: | Big brothers - why? |
| A: | Scientifically engineered to keep little siblings in line. |
#258 Aaron asked... |
| Q: | Thesis: All the world is a stage. Antithesis: The world is a roughly spherical object with an elliptical orbit completing a full circuit approximately every 365 days. Synthesis? |
| A: | Photo. |
#259 Aaron asked... |
| Q: | Now that the meese hole at MLS (see SkyFry home page) has been filled in, what do you think has happened to the meeses? Any idea how much cement they had to pour in before they filled it? |
| A: | The meece hole is eternal. I heard they used approximately 2,147,294.59948 cubic yards or concrete to fill it. |
#260 Big Boy would like to know... |
| Q: | Ahhhh!!! Why does my head hurt?!?!?!? |
| A: | Ahhh!!! The ratio of air to brain matter is probably out of whack. Try filling the space with more brain matter. |
#261 Matt is curious... |
| Q: | What is a hook turn? |
| A: | Dangerous. |
#262 Convict 1 would like to know... |
| Q: | Will I ever get out of huntsville???? |
| A: | No. Never. You are doomed to stay there for eternity. (Note to audience: What Convict1 doesn't realize is that Huntsville is actually an alias for Hell.) |
#263 Anonymous seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Who was Arizona's First Y2K Baby?? |
| A: | Stand by... Answer being formulated. |
#264 Mike Nofearson asked... |
| Q: | How many different kind of cheese are there, and which was the first? |
| A: | Stand by... Answer being formulated. |
#265 Tim wonders... |
| Q: | What is the Altitude in Phoenix, Arizona? |
| A: | 2 AHL (Above Hell Level). |
#266 skantman can't figure out... |
| Q: | What is the deal? |
| A: | 7 Card Stud, 1 down, 5 up, 1 down. |
#267 Steely Phil seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Got any sevens? |
| A: | Go fish. |
#270 is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Why can't Johnson ever get past 75 wpm? |
| A: | Well, geeze. Seventytwowpm is like 3,561 miles from him. He'd have to charter boats, planes, cross international borders... It's a lot to ask, don't you think? |
#271 Walt can't figure out... |
| Q: | What are the 7 wonders of the world? |
| A: | There are actually only 4 Wonders of the World: Wonder Woman, Wonder Bread, Wunderbar, Wonder Bra |
#272 Anonymous (not chicken) is curious... |
| Q: | Does this engine really answer questions on its own, or is there some extremely bored and unbelievably efficient programmer at the other end? |
| A: | Actually, the answerEngine is efficient and bored. There is a programmer on the other end watering the plants in the office. The answerEngine is self-sufficient. Really. |
#273 Anonymous (not chicken) asked... |
| Q: | Why did the chicken cross the road? |
| A: | See question #240. |
#274 Weirdo would like to know... |
| Q: | Did you know about Phil's Wonder Tampons when you answered Question #271? |
| A: | Because of pending civil suits with Phil's Worldwide Tampoons, Inc., we are not allowed to mention Phil's Worldwide Tamppons, Inc. on any web pages. Phil's Worldwide Tampoons, Inc. will surely come out clean on this one, but until Phil's Worldwide Tampoons, Inc. is clear of the liability, we must not mention Phil's Worldwide Tampoons, Inc. anywhere on this site. |
#275 Jeff would like to know... |
| Q: | It's 2002 now, and since the images on this page are no longer copyright protected, can I use, duplicate, and modify them? |
| A: | No. As you can see, the copyright is still good. ;Þ |
#276 Jeff is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Answer Engine, what do you eat in order to stay so healthy? |
| A: | Beans, cheese, and an occasional box of mashed potato flakes. |
#277 Jeff asked... |
| Q: | Just one more question...
What processes actually take place when your answers are being formulated? |
| A: | The primary processes that take place are biological processes: Bodily functions, metamorphosis, photosynthesis, and the metabolism of alcohol. |
#284 iraj is curious... |
| Q: | i want any information obout fema's teorem |
| A: | FEMA's Theorem states simply that where there are disasters or major emergencies, there might be funding. |
#285 Anonymous would like to know... |
| Q: | what are the 7 Wonders of the world |
| A: | See question #271 above. |
#286 Dave is curious... |
| Q: | What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? |
| A: | You must clarify whether the swallow is African or European. |
#287 Walt can't figure out... |
| Q: | If I have 2 apples and take away 6 apples How many Apples do I have? |
| A: | You can't compare apples to apples. |
#288 Walt needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Why Wont Keller Go to Zombo.com? |
| A: | It is scary to us. |
#289 Walt would like to know... |
| Q: | What is the Meaning of Life? |
| A: | See question #44 above. |
#290 Walt inquired... |
| Q: | Is Jordash A Word? |
| A: | Jordash is a color. It's blue-ish. |
#291 Bo asked... |
| Q: | What is a HornyToad? |
| A: | To find out, go out to the swamp, pick up any little creature that resembles a frog and rub its belly. |
#292 Dude is curious... |
| Q: | Is doozie a word? |
| A: | The question itself is a doozie, therefore it is safe to assume that "doozie" is a word. |
#293 AK seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | why do people turn left? |
| A: | Science has shown that 2 rights only make a 180. 3 rights make a left. Logic states that 1 left makes more sense. |
#294 Anonymous wonders... |
| Q: | In question 286 what if its an African Swallow? |
| A: | Then, perhaps, there would have been a definite answer for that question. |
#295 BO wonders... |
| Q: | Give UP? |
| A: | Make Seven Up yours. |
#296 BO wonders... |
| Q: | Guess Who... |
| A: | The answerEngine does not guess. The answerEngine gives valuable and definite answers to complete questions. Eat beans, they're good for you. |
#297 Anonymous asked... |
| Q: | whenwas refridgerated air invented |
| A: | Just minutes after the refridgerator was invented. |
#298 Funky Bums of America is curious... |
| Q: | Will you ever find some funky lady answer engine and settle down? |
| A: | Since no funky lady answer engines are leaving their phone numbers on the answer engine, probably never at this rate. |
#299 Mykl wonders... |
| Q: | How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck, if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? |
| A: | See question #35. |
#301 aj needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Why is sunday the beginning day on a calendar? |
| A: | The first day on the calendar should definitely be a day on which you pray for better days ahead. It made sense to put it first in the week on the calendar. |
#302 Spinky would like to know... |
| Q: | Where does mucus come from? |
| A: | "Mucus" is Latin for, "comes from the nose." |
#303 Tommy inquired... |
| Q: | Are we all made of stars? |
| A: | Yes. Billions and billions of stars. |
#304 Frodo wonders... |
| Q: | Whats the chances of survival for a newby jumper with no parachute? |
| A: | The chances are roughly the same as for pain for a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. |
#305 Anonymous is in a quandry... |
| Q: | What is the meaning of life |
| A: | See question #44. |
#306 Hud Wilson can't figure out... |
| Q: | How did you do that flashing \"NEON\" thing? I liked that.
Thanx(or Thanc),
Hud |
| A: | Magical, mystery... Beer. Nothing more than beer. |
#307 partially anonymous asked... |
| Q: | Do you have any plans for all the idiots in the world? |
| A: | After I get them to pay me $1 each and to clean my room... No. |
#309 Pyds seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Should I quit Football? |
| A: | If they taste good and don't cause complications or birth defects, I wouldn't. |
#310 Walt asked... |
| Q: | How you ever been www.emotioneric.com? |
| A: | Up until you typed it here, no. |
#311 Bo is in a quandry... |
| Q: | What is it? |
| A: | They say it is a pronoun, but who are they, anyway? |
#312 Anonymous asked... |
| Q: | What is the name of Capital of Misigan state? |
| A: | Landzing. Coincidentally, the capital of the State of Michigan is Lansing. Isn't that funny? |
#313 kali is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Can you show me a picture of concentric circles? |
| A: | Sure can. |
#314 Dan asked... |
| Q: | Why is Pyds so fat? |
| A: | Pyds is fat relative to what or whom? |
#315 Dan wonders... |
| Q: | Do I suck? |
| A: | That is a personal question, the answer to which you should probably keep to yourself. |
#316 Beck inquired... |
| Q: | Am I as fat as pyds? |
| A: | Why not? You can be any size you like. |
#318 Pyds wonders... |
| Q: | Is there ever a relavent conundrum? |
| A: | Yes and no. |
#319 Isaac inquired... |
| Q: | Why a duck? |
| A: | Becausea da bricka isa flying towarda you head! |
#320 Anonymous can't figure out... |
| Q: | What is carbonation? |
| A: | The Carbo Nation is a tribe of people south of Toledo. |
#321 Caitlin asked... |
| Q: | Why do I stuff my bra? |
| A: | Because bras taste very bland without stuffing. |
#322 Anonymous seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | What is poop? |
| A: | Better question: Why is poop? |
#323 Anonymous needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | what is the ratio of the oxygen one plant: can support how many people |
| A: | Absolutely. |
#324 Rick inquired... |
| Q: | Is Pyds Fat compared to me? |
| A: | 12 +/- 1% |
#325 Rick seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | What is my weight?
|
| A: | It's how much you weigh. |
#326 TANK is curious... |
| Q: | Y R U A MORON? |
| A: | Y R U A DUMMASS? |
#327 Rick can't figure out... |
| Q: | Is the world round? |
| A: | In searching our archives, back many hundreds of years, we've found that our records indicate the Earth is indeed flat and that if you sail beyond certains points, you shall surely fall off. |
#328 Rick needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | Is there intellagent life on other planet |
| A: | Yes, and they even know spelling and grammar, too! |
#329 Anonymous asked... |
| Q: | what makes pops go flat?
|
| A: | We've found that steamrollers work the best. Some say that you can use a 1 ton weight, as found in cartoons, also. |
#334 Keturah Edwards is curious... |
| Q: | How does soda pop loses its carbonation |
| A: | The carbonation must be kept on a leash, or it is lost easily. |
#337 Anonymous asked... |
| Q: | What is the color of the sky? |
| A: | Here or where you are? |
#338 Anonymous asked... |
| Q: | The Americans buy their hammers and nails from the hardware store. Where do the English buy theirs |
| A: | English Nail and Hammer Stores. Is this a trick question? |
#339 Anonymous is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Do eggs go bad if kept in the refrigerator? |
| A: | Eggs go bad when their attitudes change for the worse. |
#340 Buttnugget wonders... |
| Q: | What does one do when one loses his \"chi\"? |
| A: | Try the Espresso. |
#342 Anonymous is curious... |
| Q: | what is A to the third power over 4a to the sixth power
|
| A: | Just enough power to bend the spoon. |
#344 Anonymous seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Do you Know??? |
| A: | Stand by... Answer being formulated. |
#345 Anonymous is in a quandry... |
| Q: | Guess Pyds Weight. |
| A: | 42 |
#346 aaron is curious... |
| Q: | what are the benefits and problems of neuclear power |
| A: | Nuclear power causes spelling and grammatical errors to increase with exposure. |
#347 amanda wonders... |
| Q: | if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, does it make a noise ? |
| A: | Trees have the capacity to say, "Ouch!" when they fall, but it is out of the range of human hearing. So, as far as people are concerned, the answer is no. |
#348 Angel seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | WE HAVE TO DO THIS QUESTION AT SCHOOL I JUST CANT FING THE AWNSER I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE IT THE QUESTION IS DOES MARS REALLY MOVE BACKWORDS EXPLAIN? |
| A: | If you're looking to a cartoon web site for answers in school, I weap for our future. Mars goes sideways. |
#349 Stephanie needs a bit of advice... |
| Q: | do you know how to actully awnser these questions because it shure does take you a LONG time to. |
| A: | Judging by the 350+ answers on this page, I would have to say that I don't know how to answer questions. |
#350 memee inquired... |
| Q: | i am sorry Angel but The awnser is no it does not becaus a long time ago there was a cloud of gas and air and the little parts that left it formed the planets sorry they were making you wait for hours god i found the awnser faster than them
|
| A: | Yeah, like, those people who work 24 hours a day, seven days a week to come up with silly answers are so slooooooow. It's like, what are they doing back there?! I mean, like, come on! I have homework answers to get. Gawd. I could understand if they had REAL jobs, geeze. |
#351 Anonymous wonders... |
| Q: | How long does it take for soda to lose its carbotion at room temperature? |
| A: | See question #136. |
#352 Claire seeks enlightenment... |
| Q: | Why do construction nails weigh more or less when you put them in carbonated soda?
|
| A: | Their weight depends on whether or not the carbonated soda is regular or diet. |
#353 CEK inquired... |
| Q: | Whats your sign? Are you a real person? |
| A: | See question #141. |
#354 Jim wonders... |
| Q: | What is the medical term for drooling or drool? |
| A: | Stand by... Answer being formulated. |
#355 J. Woo is curious... |
| Q: | Is Dan Sutton still alive and if so, is there an e-mail to make contact. |
| A: | Stand by... Answer being formulated. |
#356 Craig is curious... |
| Q: | Do you remember being featured on that show \"Internet Tonight\" a few years ago back when Tech TV was ZDTV? They had a pretty good review of your website. |
| A: | Stand by... Answer being formulated. |
All images on this page are Copyright © 1995-2002 by Andy Frey. All
rights reserved. Any use, duplication, or modification is strictly prohibited. This page was last
updated at 12:26 on 07.Apr.2003.
|